the magic is gone

Daddy tried to play peek a boo with me today- holding a blanket up and dropping it.
but I outsmarted him.

I learned to pull the blanket out of the way to expose the brigand.

So much for your deception now, big man! Your simple tricks will not work on me.

Last time we met, I was but the learner, now I AM the Master.

I am tripod

So I learned yesterday that I can support myself with my hands now when I'm sitting up so I can look around.

I really like the sounds of my voice, I like to talk out loud a lot, all day long I'm cooing and yelling.

I'm actually telling mom and dad the cures to many diseases, as well as the solutions to global warming and next phases in human technological evolution. But they ain't listening.

well I'm sure you don't come here to listen to me go on and on about the trials and tribulations of being an infant, so here's some more photodocumentation.

1.27.08

and I fell asleep last night after 3 minutes of crying.
Those wicked parents are good for nothing. I don't even know why I bother crying anymore.

Dos and Don'ts with baby

http://www.c00lstuff.com/1133/Do_s_and_don_ts_with_babies/

Saw this informative and useful article for those who are having children soon.

Some of these Don'ts, however, are quite tempting to do at times.

Then I remember that 50% of US lawyers live in California, and eventually Max will be of a suitable age for a lawsuit.

First Blood!

I drew blood today, while spasming out and laughing on daddy's chest in front of the mirror, I clawed his face and cut his lip open.

FIRST BLOOD BABY.

Thus far I'm liking the ferberring thing
I've been going to sleep after maybe 6-7 minutes of crying in bed, I guess parents are still there (I can still smell them) and I can hear daddy comforted by mommy when I cry.

I like my new babysitter - she's really fun, and her daughter who's 3 evidently thinks I'm handsome too.

Score one for the Gladiator.

Ferberring, Night 1

Last night mommy and daddy tried to Ferber me.
I thought they were talking about Gerber, who makes yummy food, but it was waaaay different.

Mommy put me in the crib and let me cry.

Let me repeat that again.

Mommy put me in the crib. Then she let me cry.

Daddy didn't do much, he's pretty useful for changing diapers, but evidently the two seemed to be in cahoots. They let me cry, although mommy stayed in the room with me. Mommy probably had daddy tied to a chair somewhere, because he can't really stand me crying, and would have run to me immediately.

She let me cry for about 5 minutes. Then she came up to me and rubbed my tummy and comforted me till i relaxed a bit and went back to sucking my thumb. Then she left.
I cried for another 10 minutes, giving them my most piercing and pitiful cries. Finally again mommy came to me and calmed me down, and I relaxed a bit.
20 minutes later I decided I wanted more attention, and I made lots of noise.
Daddy checked on me, and when they were both in the room I started to quiet down.

I decided to pass out after about 15 minutes. I think part of the reason I managed to quiet down was because my thumb tastes quite yummy, I was sucking it for a good period of time. And why waste time calling my minions if they're going to gallivant around the house.

There's three types of Ferbering methods:
1) Soothe to sleep, then lay down.
This is what daddy normally does, he picks me up, sings that silly coldplay song, then a couple U2 songs, and then either a Cher, Mariah Carey, or Celine Dion number while patting my back and I'm usually out cold. It's a combination of warm tummy, boring voice, and couchy fat deposits.

2) Cry and comfort
This is what I think daddy and mommy were attempting to do.

3) Cry it out, biatch.
This is when you leave the baby alone and let them cry till exhaustion, depression, or they grow a general hatred towards the parents which fully manifests itself when they're able to drive.


Each of these methods has pros and cons, namely that if I'm crying and you're ignoring me, you have to know what kind of cry I'm giving you. Is it the "I'm bored", "I'm lonely", or possibly the "I'm hungry" or "I need a fresh diaper" cry. Or even the "OMGWTF I got my foot twisted in the bar of the crib help me now evil parents!" cry. So being alert and distinguishing between these cries is sorta important.

Comforting too much can be bad too because it raises what I'm accustomed to. (See Chris Rock sketch) If I don't get what I'm accustomed to when I'm trying to sleep, then I'm grumpy, and it means you're in trouble. Likewise, if I wake up in the middle of the night and need a new diaper, and I don't get what I'm accustomed to, you're going to be in trouble.

So there's the happy middle ground.
And it doesn't always work the first night, sometimes it can take several weeks of this before I get used to falling asleep at a certain time.

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

state of the baby

1.16.08

So thus far it's been a busy month.
I've learned to roll over, and I've learned that I like the taste of my thumb.
I'm very good at holding my head up.
I weighed 13 pounds, 6.8 ounces monday at the doc's office, where I got three more shots and one more oral vaccine.
Dad stubbed the ball of his foot at the hospital on the stairs when his flip flop got caught under the edge of the stair and he steadied me and him by sticking out his left foot. Into a marble stair. Hopefully it doesn't become a bone bruise, because he has to walk me around a lot.

Looking forward to eating more and laughing a whole lot at daddy.

I am entertained

I just learned today to play with my spinning flower petals on my swing. Mommy put me in the swing and I like to spin them.

But still enjoy being entertained by everyone else more.

uploaded new years pictures

newyears

yes that's me screaming.
why?
because someone would rather hold a camera than hold me.
that's the bitter truth little boys and girls.
when you're as cute as I am, the only warmth you get is the withering heat of camera flashes.

Yet another L2 Containment Failure

When Max's diapers fail to contain the torrent unleashed by his powerful bowel movements, it's a good thing:

1) His diapers are getting too small. If you check back to the previous L2 containment failure, it occurred around the time when he was switching to 1-2 diapers from the size 1s. And unless Pampers is pulling a fast one by re-marking their 1 diapers as 1-2s, it means Maximus is maximizing, always a good sign in a baby.

2) Bathtime. He doesn't get bathed as much as I would like to have him bathed, and it seems like every time we bath him, we seem to have missed a spot (because it tastes or smells funny. Don't ask about the tasting part.) But this is an opportunity for the little guy to get splash happy, and he's starting really enjoy bath time, just like his dad.
We noticed last time that the bathtub we have (will find a link to it soon if you pester me) rubs the small of his back, which they attempted to relieve with a foam pad. I don't know who the PM for the product was, but they need to go back to injection molding school, there should be no reason why that protrusion should be so pronounced.
So we cover it with a thick handtowel and he seems to like that. He also LOVES looking at himself in the mirror (narcissism anyone?) but I can't blame him, if I was THAT cute I'd be checking myself out all the time.

so when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, but in Maximus' case, you don't make lemonade out of it, cause that'd be totally and irrevocably disgusting. In fact , the very thought of making even teabags out of his poop covered diapers (they seem like they're rolled in it, the absorption layer is filled) leaves an imprint on my mind which no amount of goodness can seem to overcome, and the fathoms of growdiness haunt my dreams.

Yes I know I just shared with you.
Happy new years everyone!