I thought they were talking about Gerber, who makes yummy food, but it was waaaay different.
Mommy put me in the crib and let me cry.
Let me repeat that again.
Mommy put me in the crib. Then she let me cry.
Daddy didn't do much, he's pretty useful for changing diapers, but evidently the two seemed to be in cahoots. They let me cry, although mommy stayed in the room with me. Mommy probably had daddy tied to a chair somewhere, because he can't really stand me crying, and would have run to me immediately.
She let me cry for about 5 minutes. Then she came up to me and rubbed my tummy and comforted me till i relaxed a bit and went back to sucking my thumb. Then she left.
I cried for another 10 minutes, giving them my most piercing and pitiful cries. Finally again mommy came to me and calmed me down, and I relaxed a bit.
20 minutes later I decided I wanted more attention, and I made lots of noise.
Daddy checked on me, and when they were both in the room I started to quiet down.
I decided to pass out after about 15 minutes. I think part of the reason I managed to quiet down was because my thumb tastes quite yummy, I was sucking it for a good period of time. And why waste time calling my minions if they're going to gallivant around the house.
There's three types of Ferbering methods:
1) Soothe to sleep, then lay down.
This is what daddy normally does, he picks me up, sings that silly coldplay song, then a couple U2 songs, and then either a Cher, Mariah Carey, or Celine Dion number while patting my back and I'm usually out cold. It's a combination of warm tummy, boring voice, and couchy fat deposits.
2) Cry and comfort
This is what I think daddy and mommy were attempting to do.
3) Cry it out, biatch.
This is when you leave the baby alone and let them cry till exhaustion, depression, or they grow a general hatred towards the parents which fully manifests itself when they're able to drive.
Each of these methods has pros and cons, namely that if I'm crying and you're ignoring me, you have to know what kind of cry I'm giving you. Is it the "I'm bored", "I'm lonely", or possibly the "I'm hungry" or "I need a fresh diaper" cry. Or even the "OMGWTF I got my foot twisted in the bar of the crib help me now evil parents!" cry. So being alert and distinguishing between these cries is sorta important.
Comforting too much can be bad too because it raises what I'm accustomed to. (See Chris Rock sketch) If I don't get what I'm accustomed to when I'm trying to sleep, then I'm grumpy, and it means you're in trouble. Likewise, if I wake up in the middle of the night and need a new diaper, and I don't get what I'm accustomed to, you're going to be in trouble.
So there's the happy middle ground.
And it doesn't always work the first night, sometimes it can take several weeks of this before I get used to falling asleep at a certain time.
The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
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