halloween - the night you can be a total slag and nobody cares!

11.4.08

So this past week Auntie Felicia, Uncle Patrick and Kayla-jiejie went on vacation, so I was home with daddy till monday.

I think daddy's getting the hang of spending time with me - when I'm around, drop EVERY SINGLE PLAN HE HAD AND PAY ATTENTION TO ME.

I'm talking up a storm - favorite words right now- door, gogogogo, baby, and mama. Dad's been trying to get me to say Obama so he could upload it to youtube and make me Obamababy, but that didn't quite happen.


Let's see here - we went to the mall, we went for jogs, we went downtown, we went to palo alto, I saw lots and lots of girls and flirted.

There was halloween, and mommy tried to dress me up as a pumpkin. Daddy wanted me to be a vampire (easy for him, just paste fake blood on his neck). Or a grim reaper. But mommy said grandparents wouldn't like baby to be dressed up like a baby bringer of death. There's always next year.

I'm able to stand and take small steps right now, but I'm not fully mobile. But I'm a REALLY fast crawler, so who really needs that right now anyways.

I love to climb up on the stool and watch daddy do the dishes. When he puts the safety gate up, the kitchen cabinetry is poorly made and slanted, so the door can't quite fit tightly. I can bash over the top of it if it's not put tightly in place. Almost like the orcs in LOTR. Hulk SMASH!

born to be wild

I seem to grow wilder and wilder with every passing weekend.

This weekend I went to my cousin Aiden's 1st birthday.  Man that kid has a lot of hair.  

I fell asleep in the car on the way there and woke up halfway through the party pretty groggy.  After I perked up though, I was having a wild time playing with Aiden's toys and crawling around their house.

I've decided that I'm not going to walk.  It's so much easier having dad just carry me around, and faster.  Why crawl when you can have daddy pick you up?

I thoroughly enjoy bathtimes, dad needs to buy me a bigger bathtub.  I love to splash around and make a lot of noise, but not very much being entrapped in the tub enclosure.

Great Auntie is helping out mom and dad this weekend, I just bit her on the arm.  It was quite funny, at least to me.  And I just tried to do it again.  I laugh a lot at their inability to stop offering me the arm.  Must be because I'm so cute.

How about that stock market eh?  I'm so glad I'm not in long right
now.

10.20.08

In 1492, Columbus sailed the ocean blue

10.15.08

Monday was my babysitter's day off, so I got to spend the day with daddy.

luckily aunt Cathy and uncle carlos were around, so we made a day of it, going to downtown palo alto for lunch and then walking around stanford.  Dad of course, was disappointed my first college visit wasn't Johns Hopkins, but he probably doesn't want me on any airplanes right now.

First we went to Plutos (not my first time, thank you very much), and then we headed to Red Mango, which looked yummy.  I took a bunch of pictures, including me banging on their door.  Hey it says, "Pull", they can't expect me not to pull on it.

We went down University to Stanford where I got chauffeured around up to the church, then walked out to the Art Museum, which was then closed.  So we took a long long long walk to the Mall, where I got changed at Nordstroms.  I tell you, those Nordies know how to keep a clean changing room, and they even have changing tables in the men's room! (Yay for sexual equality!)

After that we walked back to the car, I wanted to push the stroller, so we made our way, stopping at the cactus forest.  It was a long and exciting day and I was cute the whole time, which we all know is very exhausting, so I took a nap before dinner.

Oh and now I can strum on the guitar with a pick.  As long as I don't eat it, it's all good.

The Farm ain't so bad.

catching up

two weekends ago, i went to a buddy's 2nd birthday party. It was chill, at the park, and ate a lot.

also I helped dad pick something to make for dinner the next evening, and pigged out.

in all these things I was wicked cute, and here's the documentation. view with caution as always.

Happy Birthday To Me

So this past weekend I hit the big 1 years old.
yeah I'm not putting too much emphasis on it, I mean everyone comes to this point in life right.

Now before all you other people out there start chiding me about being 'over the hill', and 'now you gotta go to kindergarten', and 'soon you'll have to put on your own pants' (and yes, dad, you have to bothering me about "you're going to be paying taxes soon"), I know. One year old is a big deal, but really is it THAT big of a deal?

Mom had this idea of taking me to the park - they had this large black beast called a choo choo train, which would spit out this tumultuous amount of white stuff (I'm told it was steam), and make a thunderous racket when it passed by. Good thing its iron feet were firmly rooted to those rails on the ground. Otherwise I was going to have to pull out my trusty remote and open up a milk bottle of whuppAAA!

After that we came to this large circle with a bunch of these poor horses they spitted and forced to prance on. But the funny thing was that they would only gallop up and down when the music played, some strange loud accordion / organ music. I was asking the conductor if they could play some proper recessionals or something, maybe some Bach, but he doesn't seem to understand me. So dad pulled me onto a horse and the music started. It was fun, the world moved pretty slowly (I prefer when dad drifts the wagon) but hey, sometimes slow is calming and relaxing. Dad, however, was getting quite motion sick. What a wuss.

Thanks to Sophie and Adelaide for coming out to celebrate my birthday, we had a great time.

Had dinner at grandma and grandpa's place later, aunt goo is always so funny. Mommy got me a cake and people sang some song. I rather prefer dad's lullaby rendition of Metallica's "Enter Sandman.


Thanks for reading, back to Dr. Horrible for me. Now that I'm 1 year, the clock is ticking, and I need to really get to work on my PhD in Horribleness.

oh, and pics.




btw, I haven't gotten to opening all my presents yet, for some reason, dad's octopus arms haven't arrived yet from Amazon (with a REAL circuit breaker this time to protect from AI overload) so he can't hold me, let me open stuff and take pictures at the same time. But when those come in, we'll open up everything.
Hope no one got me a puppy.

August recap

Wow the month of august blew by in a whirlwind of activity.
2 weddings, playdates, and auntie appearances.

I'm almost ready to walk, but at this moment I prefer to crawl. I think it's because I'd rather just get from point A to point B, and crawling is the fastest way. Either that or call for daddy.


Uncle Carlos has been hanging out with me a lot lately, he's got a funny 5 o'clock shadow that tickles my feet. He taught me how to blrrrrrrrrpppppppptttt with my lips.


I'm pretty feisty these days, I like to kick and yell and throw tantrums which dad somehow seems to see straight through. I need to work on that.

1 year birthday is coming up, mom and dad are going to take me to the park.


pictures from Auntie Cynthia and Uncle Yuri's wedding:

8.9.08.2

8.28.08

Men in Hats

Luckily July wasn't too hot.

We've had some scorchers but nothing really too much to break a sweat over this summer.

Mom tried a lot this month to put hats on me, to protect me from the summer sun as much as possible.

Dad's been taking me to the park a lot to swing, I love the swing.

I'm biting a lot these days, mom and dad have bite marks on their shoulders from where I went to nibble on some cloth but caught some skin.

Had several playdates every weekend:

saw my cousin Aiden again, he's got so much more hair than I do.

Went to visit Sophie who was born a day after I was.  

And I hung out with Noah, who's almost my size (eek!).  I'm glad we're both a bit hairless, even if he's half my age.  That young whippersnapper.

I'm ALMOST walking now.  I can stand up on my own and grab stuff without having to rely on hanging on to anything for balance.  

Dad reckons when I start walking around, more of his hair will turn white.  But no worries for me.

I'm excited, August has a couple weddings for me to go to, so that'll be a fun time.

Ok less talk, more gawk, here's pictures from my outings and adventures this month.

7.28.08

7.20

the great escape!! (part 2)

Today while at Los Charros (which has great Quesadillas), I managed once again to undo the clip on my stroller and free one leg.

I was overcome with exhilaration! I could taste the breath of freedom as it poured into my lungs. I looked up at dad, he was talking with mom, so I took my chance. I leaned forward and grabbed the edge of the chair, pretending that I was going to try to eat my toes again, but this time I kept going!
I could almost smell the sweet apple pie and savor the smells and sights of the open sea, all I had to do was flip out and get through the door.

But then dad caught me, the smeghead. He must have noticed out of the corner of his eye that I had been leaning over and noticed that the belt was now unfastened.

as he picked me up, I faked a cry to dissuade him from further diplomatic action, but to my dismay I picked up chatter that they were going to get a new stroller, with a 5 point belt to replace this one.


---

I had my vengeance tonight when I was put to bed. As normal I refused to go gently into that good night, and as always, I rage and rage against the dying of the light. But tonight I whipped out my secret weapon, one that has been in development for a while.

"mama...mama..." which had the desired effects of awwhs and ooohs from my matronly assailant. When I heard her leave the room and bring dad in, I reiterated, strongly, like any smart US Senator should have about the recently passed FISA bill (WHAT WERE THEY THINKING, ESPECIALLY YOU, OBAMA!?!) "MAMAMAMAMA!"

oh and re-emphasized my name for dad.

"BOB!"

which, much to his chagrin, caused him to leave the room distraught.


I end this post with some words from the great wordsmith himself-
"What's in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet."
Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)



adieu, adieu, parting is such sweet sorrow.

July update

6.24.08

a couple weeks ago it was super duper hot.

these are those pictures.
not much to see, just mainly me lounging around trying to stay cool.

7.6.08

So this past couple weeks has been pretty tiring for everyone

somehow I got sick last weekend, and had a slight fever all week.

This caused me to wake up more than usual at night, so dad and mom didn't sleep very well.

Mom had caught her usual summer cough, and dad's immune system was weak from the norcal fires setting off his athsma.

so dad caught my cold, and was in full swing while I got better.

Then I caught mom's cough, and still am a bit sputtery.
Dad's just climbing out of his cold, and mom's still coughing, but he's trying to manage as best as he can with me.

Great Aunt Goo came over this weekend to help out mom and dad so mom could clean up.


things I do a lot of now:

poop (yeah still up there in the ratings)
eat a lot, I chug about 8 ounces of formula each time, and I'm eating probably 6-8 ounces of solids at every meal.
crawl around - i started a couple weeks ago and I love being mobile. In the mornings I crawl around the bed and smack dad so he gets up to play with me.

by morning, I mean 6 AM.



i like to stand up a lot, and love to bang the water jugs we use. they make a cool sound.
whenever dad plays guitar for me i like to yank on the strings to make discordant sounds.

I think i'm going to walk soon so i can cause dad more grief.

and i definitely talk right now
i can say anything you want
as long as it's "bob" with a bawstan accent.

"bob go park the car" = "bab, go pahrrk da caahhr"

The Valley Fair Mall Accident

6.20.08

so been a while since I posted, so to bring you up to speed:

parents have been doing this thing called "Ferber Method"
that guy is a jerk.
he's supposed to be some sort of sleep specialist or something. My pediatrician told me a story that he heard him speak once at a seminar. Definitely Ferber lives up to his name, he put my pediatrician to sleep!
anyways, it's this sick and twisted method where my parents pick me up and hold me, singing these strange songs to me.
obviously I know what's coming, I'm not a houseplant.
then one of my "parents" (in the loosest sense of the word) puts me down into my crib.
Then I start crying like my 401k just went down the crapper.
duh. someone put me down.
Then they leave the room for what has got to be like several hours.
I cry and cry and cry, and then they come back.
I have no clue what they're doing. They tell me silly things like "oh it's ok baby", and "shhhh it'll be all right."
Where else have I heard those words before? Anyone ever read Soylent Green? I know they're leaving me alone in the dark so I can get used to it, so one day when they come to stuff me for thanksgiving dinner, I won't complain! I might even curl up nicely for the roaster!

NO EFFING WAY. I'm not going down easy without a fight. Dr. Ferber, right, what is your degree in anyways? Cookery?

So anyways, I've been fighting it intensely for about 2 weeks now. Last night I cried and cried so hard that dad had to tuck me back into bed with him. Just to punish him for his insolence, I kicked him sternly in the face this morning until he woke up and got me some formula. That's right! Get back in the kitchen and mix me a drink!


anyways.

fathers' day weekend-
wow had a wild and crazy weekend
friday night had dinner with my dad's dinner and family
we went to the usual chinese restaurant we always go to. I bounced around a lot, and then got sleepy.
saturday night had dinner with my mom's family
same chinese restaurant, different table. this time dad remembered the camera so we have the snaps.
Sunday night dad had to help Nicholas' dad move all his stuff out from his place, so he was huffing and puffing. Didn't see him much, but when he came back boy was he sweaty.


This week Auntie Felicia took off for vacation, so I was just chilling at home with dad who took the week off too. Happily to say I exhausted him thoroughly, waking up at a 6am, refusing to nap at all, constantly bouncing on him, smacking him around, making him read to me, sing to me, play guitar for me, walk me around. That's right, who's the boss?!

We went out to the Chipotle plaza thursday evening cause it was hot. Somehow while in best buy I managed to unclip one of my belts on my stroller, and was almost free before mommy noticed me trying to make my escape. And I would have escaped if it wasn't for those darned kids. Needless to say that plan is foiled, I'm sure dad and mom have a sharp eye on me.


Today we went to valley fair in afternoon. I decided to make presents for mommy and daddy in the car, and they didn't notice when they were transferring me to the stroller.
In fact, until they stopped at Coldstone and daddy picked me up out of the stroller, they hadn't a clue of the massive present that awaited them.
Let's just say dad's eyebrows shot up when he realized the smell of the gift I had created. He quickly bolted to the family change room and while I checked out how handsome I was in one of the mirrors (thank goodness for him I had my handsome visage to gaze upon) he stripped me of my now christened clothes, and wiped me down and changed me.

Lots of other mommys found this an interesting sight, and I could hear them thinking "how can I train my baby to get daddy to do this?" Read the book, ladies. It comes out in time for christmas.

Later on we walked around, daddy feeding me ample amounts of formula to keep me well hydrated, and I had an exciting time, passing out on the car ride home.

Of course they tried to put me into the crib tonight again, against my stringent protest. But I cut them some slack.

Check out the picture above: This is my "Victory is Mine!" look.

Tooth Hard 3, with a Vengeance.

5.30

I think my first words were "dada" or "Bob" or "hi"

but I have yet to replicate any of those. I mainly stick to babababababa.

My other teeth are coming in, with a vengeance. So mommy is definitely trying to wean me.

I had a blast last weekend at various Memorial Day activities - hanging out at grandma and grandpa's, relaxing at home while being babied by mommy on sunday, and having all the attention I could take in on Monday.

Big up for my incoming cousin, "Project Murray", I look forward to wreaking havoc with her.

I'm posting videos of myself up on Facebook, ping me to view them maximus.gong AT gmail.com

peace out.

changes

by Tupac is a great song.

RIP.

5.25.08

anyways, where was I?

Oh right, lots of changes lately.

First off, new car seat.
Switched over to the Britax Marathon from my old seat because I was kicking the back of the chair, sticking my feet up on the handle, and pretty much grumpy all the time because I was squashed like a sardine.

So this also got me into Aunt Kim's Peg Peregoo (or however you spell it). It's quite roomie and gives me room to thrash around.


I'm loving the portable Fisher Price high chair that every other asian family seems to have. It's so useful, and because every other asian family has it, when we go out we can swap them around while other families wait for seating.
haha just kidding.
but yeah it's really handy and lets me smack things and make noise while I wait for my lazy parents to finish eating.

I gave uncle scott a bloody nose by sticking my finger up it. I thought it was kinda funny, but evidently he didn't like red stuff coming out.

I'm pretty wild these days, but I play hard and sleep hard, last night I slept through the night, a full 9 hours.

Dad's been having people over for Guitar Hero and I really enjoy rocking out with uncle Scott while I jam on the keyboards.

I'm eating 3 solids meals every day, as per the Super Baby Food book.


Looking forward to another month of fat happy living! Adios muchachos!

i hate the taste of formula

It's been a scorcher these past few days, and so I've been drinking and eating everything cold. This helps doubly as it cools down my teething gums.


I've put up some mother's day pictures from last weekend, which was super busy.

First dad had a testing party for his website http://www.kazuum.com (feel free to sign up!)


Then dinner with mommy's parents and aunt. Aunt Goo fed me afterwards while daddy and mommy napped. They were really tired, cause I wake up pretty early on weekends when they're usually trying to catch up on sleep deprivation from the previous week.


Then had dinner with daddy's parents and auntie victoria, don't have pictures of that here, cause daddy forgot the camera.

We also met up with My's cousin Bob and family, my second cousin?? Aiden. Aiden sat there quietly while I showed him to to cause a ruckus, banging on everything in sight with my fists and rattles. Gotta start them when they're young!

5.16.08

5.10.08

I also got this beautiful peace lily from uncle elliot. For a plant, it has a lot of character and noble sentiment.

more stupendous pictures of moi.

see that? i spoke french.
moi.

as opposed to

koi.
which is a fish!

5.3.08

mommy and daddy (the 'rents) put me back in the crib last night, and I showed them how easily the wooden bars of subjugation were overcome by the grizzled tenacity of my heart of freedom.

so daddy lowered it to the lowest setting.

poop.

party like it's 1999

wow what a busy couple weeks this has been for me.

let's see here:

last weekend:
went out to Dim Sum and got to try out my portable high chair. I really like sitting in it because it has a nice sound when I bang on the surface.

Then went to Tapioca Express where I passed out, even though there were loud blender noises.

After that we went to the biggest Whole Foods on the West Coast, where I met a lot of other babies (they were out in force).

Following that, I visited my younger friend Noah, who's quickly approaching his 2 month mark. He sleeps a lot! I had my first hot pot.

Sunday was busy too - after lunch we headed up to uncle George and auntie Helen's place, where we ate ribs, and I didn't want to eat my solid food because I wanted to go talk to everyone out in the party instead.


So I'm on the verge of crawling, dad's clearing out the living room so I can crawl and crawl to my heart's content. I'm teething like crazy, cause my top set is coming out, which will enable me to eat meats next week. (blended steaks, yum!)

I'm very strong, I can almost do a pull up all by myself (when daddy holds me of course).

more exciting web pictures here:

4.19.08

picking my nose

you can pick your nose
and you can pick your friends
but you can't pick your friend's nose.
- heard on the rough streets of the daycare playground.


Today's my day off, so instead of entertaining the three lovely ladies at day care (straight up pimpin' it) I'm chilling at home with dad.

Dad noticed these two gargantuan boogers up my nose which had kind of hardened (and that's why when he brushes my nose I cry) and you know how it is when you have a hard and possibly sharp booger up your nose.

He's spent the last half hour trying to get boogers out. But to no avail. Boogers 2, dad -1, I gave him a nasty scratch when he tried to get it out.

Later during the day I managed to get one of them out, by rubbing it on dad's shirt. He noticed the little greenish brown present I left him later in the afternoon.

Mom and dad took me to ramen tonight for their dinner, it seemed yummy, but still to no avail, I have not yet tasted it.
Then we went to a book store and dad read to me while they picked out some presents.

I really like being out on the town.

My exciting weekend

my exciting weekend 4.1.08

So let's see here:
Friday night, went to Whole Foods for the first time.
Saturday, went to see dogs
Sunday, went to Farmer's Market and Sushi!

Right now I have no problems sitting up.
I REALLY want to play guitar, but my hands are too small for Uncle Graah's Epiphone.
But I have mad chops, if only dad would let me jam.

I like grabbing books and then trying to eat them.

I'm teething like a $@#%^^&*@#$!!!er. Sometimes at night it hurts so I'll just start crying in my sleep. I wish dad and mom would get off their collective lazy butts and get me some Vicodin.

Nawh I'm kidding, Percocet would be just fine.


My two front teeth are in full effect, sometimes I'll be sticking my fingers in my mouth to teeth/soothe myself and then I'll take them out, but forget that I took them out, and then mash down to teethe...on my gums. When that happens, let me tell you, all of Mountain View can hear my screaming.

I love to jump, if you hold me on the floor, I'll just jump up and down. I get it from the girls at day care they seem to like to jump up and down, so I tend to do what the gals do. Did I mention I'm the only boy there? 3:1 ratio baby. awwh snap.

Today while dad was holding me against his chest, I decided to BASE jump off him, without a parachute. Good thing he had a firm grip on me, because I almost slid out of his hands and he caught me around the hips, holding me upside down while trying to get me back up without snapping my neck in twain. I think I must have caused some white hairs there. Oh dad you're hilarious.

I'm doing solid poops now. Personally I don't know what the fuss is about, it smells like roses to me, roses in the fresh spring air. Dad would have you think it smells like a cross between Sarin and Mustard Gas with a couple spritzes of VX for good measure, but he likes to exaggerate.

I also talk a darn lot, who wouldn't with all the turmoil in the economy, the ugly tactics by the Clinton campaign, the strange cold spring with hot days, and the growing ecological crises in developing nations. Plus the Olympics and persecution of Tibetans. Come on, China? What's the matter with you? Sounds like you a couple hours of Baby Einstein and some of mommy's mashed sweet potato. Don't worry, I gots.

So that's pretty much me in a nutshell folks. Goodnight and goodluck!

I spent a lifetime building up an immunity to Iocaine powder.

A day of firsts today -

I had my first time at the big keyboard - I like to jam when it's on organ mode. I know how to hit these keys to make this sinister sounding noise - like at the end of a TV horror episode.

and I ate solid food for the first time!

I could not get enough of it! It was organic brown rice cereal with whole grains, mixed with breastmilk, and I kept complaining to daddy that he wasn't spooning it fast enough into my mouth! I kept trying to grab the spoon and get it to my mouth faster, which made life difficult for daddy. In the end I just grabbed the spoon and licked it off while daddy took me to get fed from the cow mom.

Boy do I love to eat!

ps. I have another tooth coming out on the bottom. Steak, shrimp, Sizzler, here I come!

3.17.08

ok it's settled

costco kirkland diapers are teh suck.

if you have to ask me why, just look at the timestamp on this blog post, and what drives a baby to get up and post something negative about a product at this hour.

chinese new years

2.21.08

let's see here...
i've gotta more active.
i like to talk about everything and anything now, and i like to laugh at everything.

oh, and TEETHING.
I am TEETHING.
I will bite and gnaw on anything within reach right now.

I can almost flip over from my back to my tummy.

and have a keen interest in whatever mommy and daddy are eating. If I smell it, I want to see it!

I'm a size 3 diaper now, just started two nights ago.

And I'm loving my level 2 Flow Nipples.

What used to take me 20 minutes to drink now takes me 5.

daycare trials and tribulations

2.3.08

Why am I so happy?

I started daycare, and I'm having a lot of fun every day. One of the other babies how to eat from a bottle, because he saw me doing it and wanted to emulate my excellent eating habits. Auntie Felicia says I eat like a champion, thus attesting to what Auntie Lekha already indicated.

I like to talk A LOT, mommy and daddy have camera video of me talking up a storm when I'm at home.

I pass out within 10 minutes of being left in my crib now, I've given up on crying for attention from my useless handlers.

I'm eating anywhere from 4-6 ounces at a time.

and the big thing:

I'm teething! Yes I'm totally interested in what mommy and daddy are eating, even to the point of wanting to sit on daddy's lap to watch them munch on dinner. I was drooling all over daddy's burrito today.

and I like to pick their noses.

the magic is gone

Daddy tried to play peek a boo with me today- holding a blanket up and dropping it.
but I outsmarted him.

I learned to pull the blanket out of the way to expose the brigand.

So much for your deception now, big man! Your simple tricks will not work on me.

Last time we met, I was but the learner, now I AM the Master.

I am tripod

So I learned yesterday that I can support myself with my hands now when I'm sitting up so I can look around.

I really like the sounds of my voice, I like to talk out loud a lot, all day long I'm cooing and yelling.

I'm actually telling mom and dad the cures to many diseases, as well as the solutions to global warming and next phases in human technological evolution. But they ain't listening.

well I'm sure you don't come here to listen to me go on and on about the trials and tribulations of being an infant, so here's some more photodocumentation.

1.27.08

and I fell asleep last night after 3 minutes of crying.
Those wicked parents are good for nothing. I don't even know why I bother crying anymore.

Dos and Don'ts with baby

http://www.c00lstuff.com/1133/Do_s_and_don_ts_with_babies/

Saw this informative and useful article for those who are having children soon.

Some of these Don'ts, however, are quite tempting to do at times.

Then I remember that 50% of US lawyers live in California, and eventually Max will be of a suitable age for a lawsuit.

First Blood!

I drew blood today, while spasming out and laughing on daddy's chest in front of the mirror, I clawed his face and cut his lip open.

FIRST BLOOD BABY.

Thus far I'm liking the ferberring thing
I've been going to sleep after maybe 6-7 minutes of crying in bed, I guess parents are still there (I can still smell them) and I can hear daddy comforted by mommy when I cry.

I like my new babysitter - she's really fun, and her daughter who's 3 evidently thinks I'm handsome too.

Score one for the Gladiator.

Ferberring, Night 1

Last night mommy and daddy tried to Ferber me.
I thought they were talking about Gerber, who makes yummy food, but it was waaaay different.

Mommy put me in the crib and let me cry.

Let me repeat that again.

Mommy put me in the crib. Then she let me cry.

Daddy didn't do much, he's pretty useful for changing diapers, but evidently the two seemed to be in cahoots. They let me cry, although mommy stayed in the room with me. Mommy probably had daddy tied to a chair somewhere, because he can't really stand me crying, and would have run to me immediately.

She let me cry for about 5 minutes. Then she came up to me and rubbed my tummy and comforted me till i relaxed a bit and went back to sucking my thumb. Then she left.
I cried for another 10 minutes, giving them my most piercing and pitiful cries. Finally again mommy came to me and calmed me down, and I relaxed a bit.
20 minutes later I decided I wanted more attention, and I made lots of noise.
Daddy checked on me, and when they were both in the room I started to quiet down.

I decided to pass out after about 15 minutes. I think part of the reason I managed to quiet down was because my thumb tastes quite yummy, I was sucking it for a good period of time. And why waste time calling my minions if they're going to gallivant around the house.

There's three types of Ferbering methods:
1) Soothe to sleep, then lay down.
This is what daddy normally does, he picks me up, sings that silly coldplay song, then a couple U2 songs, and then either a Cher, Mariah Carey, or Celine Dion number while patting my back and I'm usually out cold. It's a combination of warm tummy, boring voice, and couchy fat deposits.

2) Cry and comfort
This is what I think daddy and mommy were attempting to do.

3) Cry it out, biatch.
This is when you leave the baby alone and let them cry till exhaustion, depression, or they grow a general hatred towards the parents which fully manifests itself when they're able to drive.


Each of these methods has pros and cons, namely that if I'm crying and you're ignoring me, you have to know what kind of cry I'm giving you. Is it the "I'm bored", "I'm lonely", or possibly the "I'm hungry" or "I need a fresh diaper" cry. Or even the "OMGWTF I got my foot twisted in the bar of the crib help me now evil parents!" cry. So being alert and distinguishing between these cries is sorta important.

Comforting too much can be bad too because it raises what I'm accustomed to. (See Chris Rock sketch) If I don't get what I'm accustomed to when I'm trying to sleep, then I'm grumpy, and it means you're in trouble. Likewise, if I wake up in the middle of the night and need a new diaper, and I don't get what I'm accustomed to, you're going to be in trouble.

So there's the happy middle ground.
And it doesn't always work the first night, sometimes it can take several weeks of this before I get used to falling asleep at a certain time.

The price of freedom is eternal vigilance.

state of the baby

1.16.08

So thus far it's been a busy month.
I've learned to roll over, and I've learned that I like the taste of my thumb.
I'm very good at holding my head up.
I weighed 13 pounds, 6.8 ounces monday at the doc's office, where I got three more shots and one more oral vaccine.
Dad stubbed the ball of his foot at the hospital on the stairs when his flip flop got caught under the edge of the stair and he steadied me and him by sticking out his left foot. Into a marble stair. Hopefully it doesn't become a bone bruise, because he has to walk me around a lot.

Looking forward to eating more and laughing a whole lot at daddy.

I am entertained

I just learned today to play with my spinning flower petals on my swing. Mommy put me in the swing and I like to spin them.

But still enjoy being entertained by everyone else more.

uploaded new years pictures

newyears

yes that's me screaming.
why?
because someone would rather hold a camera than hold me.
that's the bitter truth little boys and girls.
when you're as cute as I am, the only warmth you get is the withering heat of camera flashes.

Yet another L2 Containment Failure

When Max's diapers fail to contain the torrent unleashed by his powerful bowel movements, it's a good thing:

1) His diapers are getting too small. If you check back to the previous L2 containment failure, it occurred around the time when he was switching to 1-2 diapers from the size 1s. And unless Pampers is pulling a fast one by re-marking their 1 diapers as 1-2s, it means Maximus is maximizing, always a good sign in a baby.

2) Bathtime. He doesn't get bathed as much as I would like to have him bathed, and it seems like every time we bath him, we seem to have missed a spot (because it tastes or smells funny. Don't ask about the tasting part.) But this is an opportunity for the little guy to get splash happy, and he's starting really enjoy bath time, just like his dad.
We noticed last time that the bathtub we have (will find a link to it soon if you pester me) rubs the small of his back, which they attempted to relieve with a foam pad. I don't know who the PM for the product was, but they need to go back to injection molding school, there should be no reason why that protrusion should be so pronounced.
So we cover it with a thick handtowel and he seems to like that. He also LOVES looking at himself in the mirror (narcissism anyone?) but I can't blame him, if I was THAT cute I'd be checking myself out all the time.

so when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade, but in Maximus' case, you don't make lemonade out of it, cause that'd be totally and irrevocably disgusting. In fact , the very thought of making even teabags out of his poop covered diapers (they seem like they're rolled in it, the absorption layer is filled) leaves an imprint on my mind which no amount of goodness can seem to overcome, and the fathoms of growdiness haunt my dreams.

Yes I know I just shared with you.
Happy new years everyone!